Pico, Day 28

[elmey.livejournal.com]

Here's today's post for your snippets, comments, thoughts.

Comments

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

I kept on editing the latest scene; added about 150 words but then I deleted some. Still no onwards progress but I'm hoping the deletion will make jump-cutting to where I want to be easier. I promised Saki an extract, so have a short edited bit; this is from earlier in the scene than the bit where Cobweb is crying at him...

All those stairs sure got the feeling back in my feet. They also reminded me I’d had nothing to eat. I sloped down the canteen kitchens to see what I could scrounge but the cooks were still nursing their hangovers, and the place was dark and cold and empty apart from the smell of yesterday’s fish. That never left. Neither did my dream. It just kept on rolling round and round in my head.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

That must have been some dream...
As always, I love the way you can create atmosphere with only a few words.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thank you! The dream is the one that finally gets the protag to admit he's Dreaming :)

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Maybe not onward progress yet, but stirring the pot and adding some bits.

I can smell the cold, old fish! *wrinkles nose and shivers*

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Stirring the pot is a good comparison. And oh noes, institutional food in a place where fish is very cheap :(

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I love the bit: but the cooks were still nursing their hangovers. You almost don't have to say anymore, we know exactly what the place is with that.

I hope the editing starts pushing you forward again!

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thanks! So do I! I'm getting very fed up of this stop & start progress, but the plumbers are still with us, and they are very disruptive.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Simple but very atmospheric, well done.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Oh the joy of having to move to a recalcitrant next bit! I hope the editing helps/

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Indeed! I've been trying to work out why I'm so stuck again. Sigh.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Wonderfully bleak atmosphere as always.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Let's hope I can write atmospheres other than bleak :)