I'll never, ever understand English tenses. Not even if I live a thousand years. It's hopeless.

I'm Hungarian, and our language has exactly three tenses: past, present and future. Everything else is context. It works like a charm. I grew up with German as my second language, starting at the age of 3, and I can handle German tenses without problems. They are logical. Hell, I could even follow French tenses in the half year I was learning French for the heck of it. No problem. English tenses, though...