Day 4 (Team July)

[kerravonsen]

Yes, I'm butting in here to post, because it's evening of the 4th here, and there is no post! So join me in the boasting progress reports and encouragement for this day's creative work!

Comments

[saki101.livejournal.com]

He could feel the subtle change in the intensity of Napoleon's attention, saw the way he leaned forward to listen, the way it took a beat for him to respond.

I love this description of Napoleon's concern, how judiciously he responds.

Given Illya's milieu, if the memory takes a turn towards the darker side it won't be surprising.

[akane42me.livejournal.com]

500 words which may never see the light of day. I got this wild idea while on my walk and got home and wrote it up, but I poked a great big hole in it while I was writing it, so I put it away, Maybe something will occur to me how to use it, but I doubt it. Well, it was fun while it lasted:)

Here's the next part of Solo on the ladder:

Solo hurled his body against the ladder and managed to wedge his free knee onto the third rung down, stopping his fall. Regaining his grip on the top of the railing, he hung there, half in and half out of the ladder, catching his breath, and thanked his lucky stars for escaping what would have been an excruciating blow to his manhood. He wished they hadn’t taken his underwear. Not that it would have provided any protection, he thought resentfully, but still, a man deserved a little dignity.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I like the slow reveal of Napoleon's state of dress, or undress. If anyone could manage to escape nude, on injured feet, and with his dignity, it would be Napoleon (or Illya). Any THRUSH would look totally ridiculous.

Very relieved by this phrase, managed to wedge his free knee onto the third rung down, stopping his fall. ;-)

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Yay progress! :)

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Good progress! Hope you feel better soon!

Great scene!

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Great scene - very emotional :)

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I hope you feel better soon! You seem to be making amazing progress!

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Yay progress!

Good scene. How callous of Ken - he seems a real jerk :(

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Good scene - it sounds like Napoleon probably knows where this is going...

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Having fun is good! :)

Poor guy! Having to escape naked!

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Well, more that he forgot to preheat the oven. So to make up for that he will either eat it half raw or have to leave it in for ages till it's burnt. (Yeah, I had that why-can't-he-chuck-it-in-the-microwave moment!)

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Looks like this is a conversation that has been coming on a long time.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

I'll just roll up in a corner and die for a while.

Yeah, that was me yesterday. Sorry it's being stressful right now! Will catch up with Lance and his ladies later on.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Oh poor John! He is enthralled by Sherlock and is in such pain over it.

A small quibble: being a medic, would he not have detected a pulse first before hearing Sherlock speak? (I love the way you describe Sherlock speaking, btw)

[akane42me.livejournal.com]

Very nice characterization there, the cautious feeling of the conversation: Illya crossing his arms, Napoleon''s careful response.

[akane42me.livejournal.com]

I'm looking forward to seeing your HP writing, so good luck finishing the craft!

:)

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Heh. I wouldn't elevate him to the role of Antagonist, he doesn't do anything particularly awful apart from exist, but he is an irritating fellow.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

He's irritating all right, like lots of people one might end up working with and have nothing in common.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Oo-er! Maybe they didn't realise he would escape?

I'm wondering now will he be in the nude in a built up area...

[akane42me.livejournal.com]

Hah! Picturing the possibilities of when the councilor lost his clothes. Good for you, getting back to the writing, in spite of everything. No worries about commenting, or trying to keep up on reading for that matter - that just increases the stress. Be content to write a little bit here and there when the mood strikes, and post a bit of it! Better days to come, I hope.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

I hope the annoying person gets stuck in the nearest shredder and that your energy levels are back again soon.

Intriguing excerpt - there is a desire to humiliate there obviously on the part of the murderers.

[akane42me.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is coming along so beautifully. The emotion is enough to put a cramp in my own chest.

I have watched the first two episodes so far, and am impatient to find time for more. No drugging yet:)

[akane42me.livejournal.com]

Congrats on finishing the chapter in "Arthur's Quest." I hope I can find time to read it today, otherwise it's going to have to wait until Monday! As for you, please take care of yourself.

[akane42me.livejournal.com]

Good scene! And writing on lunch time is the height of dedication to the cause:)
That Kenyon. How can he sound so casual? What a creep. I suppose, as an editor he's seen it all and has become desensitized. Still, that's no excuse.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Yes, this was an issue. I was depending (stretching) the idea of a very slow pulse due to the hypothermia (http://www.hypothermia.org/protocol.htm) and that Lestrade and John didn't wait for a long time to find a pulse, John concentrating on warming just in case. He thought he felt a pulse when he was removing the sleeve, but then couldn't find it again. That seems moderately plausible. Once Sherlock is leaning on him, he doesn't take the pulse again, he's drying the hair and rubbing the chest through the towel which is thick. I thought the questions of whether he would feel a heartbeat or respiration through the back was more an issue, but John hasn't taken his jacket off although the sitting room was hot, he quickly joined the others in the kitchen by the open freezer, so I thought a few layers of clothing would be enough to mask a very slow/low pulse and respiration rate. The time John has Sherlock leaning against him is also short. It only takes Lestrade a couple minutes to fetch the towels and then there is the distraction of him realising that the body is Sherlock's. So I had the first obvious respiration and the sound coming simultaneously to John's attention.

So...unconsciousness, hypothermia, impatience (with the pulse taking), short time lapse, layers of clothing and distraction are my main excuses and a disinclination on John's part to eliminate the hope that Sherlock might still be alive.

Too big a stretch?

Would rearranging this bit improve the situation?

There’s a vibration under his hand. John’s fingers dig in. A movement against his cheek.