Pico, Day 28

[elmey.livejournal.com]

Here's today's post for your snippets, comments, thoughts.

Comments

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I did some editing, a fair amount of plotty thinking and wrote 263 words of dialogue, supposedly in furtherance of the plotty thoughts. Now I think I might not use it at all. At least not in its present form. *sigh* So, here's the end of the scene from yesterday, hopefully polished up a bit.

***

Sherlock leaned back in his seat and saw the bottle. “What’s this?” he asked, holding it up to the light and narrowing his eyes at the hand-printed label. He sniffed at the stopper.

“There’s a farmer’s market at the weekend near Mike’s house,” John said. “I walked through it and spotted that.”

“Blackberry melomel with wild yeast,” Sherlock read. “There are no quality controls on these sorts of things, John. Anything could be growing in here.” He looked from the label to John.

John grinned. “You can test it.”

Red streaked from the bookcase and out the sitting room door. Voices floated up the stairs on a cool gust of air.

“Or we could serve it to Mycroft,” Sherlock said.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

That's beautifully dry :)

[saki101.livejournal.com]

:-D Thank you! I need to continue and show the interaction with Mycroft (I think), but I want to end the scene on that line, too.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

It's always annoying when you manage to write something, it works - and then you realise that actually it isn't quite right. Still, it's a funny scene, you might be able to recycle ;-)

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

It's always annoying when you manage to write something, it works - and then you realise that actually it isn't quite right. Still, it's a funny scene, you might be able to recycle ;-)

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I'm heading into a snarl of that. I may have to write some sort of outline to make my way out!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Now, that's a first: Sherlock being concerned whatever could grow in that thing. Or he simply wants to experiment on it and tries to put John out of his appetite.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Or tease John about the thoughtful present instead of simply saying 'thank you'.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Editing, plotty thinking and words, even if not directly usable, all sound like excellent progress, kudos! I like Sherlock being concerned about quality controls, for once, and the last line is perfect.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I think I have to let that be the end of that scene. It still makes me smile to re-read it.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

Recycle, recycle, no writing is wasted :)

I love the way Red announces Mycroft's presence.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Red's made his decision. The sooner Mycroft realises resistance is futile, the better!

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Now there's an evil idea.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Ah, brotherly love.