http://tawek.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] tawek.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] picowrimo2009-11-07 04:40 am
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Day 7

Please post today's updates and any excerpts / thoughts / etc in comments.

Here's today's daily prompt for your updates and any excerpts, thoughts etc.

[identity profile] kalinda001.livejournal.com 2009-11-07 10:36 am (UTC)(link)
More progress.

Image

The Trykor's docking hatch led to a corridor somewhat similar to the Sedener's, but comparing the two would be like saying a tiger is just a bigger cat. It was considerably wider, enough to drive a few tanks through two abreast, and someone who wasn’t colour blind and completely without taste or imagination, had chosen dignified shades of blue and grey to colour its walls.

The greeting party, if that was what it was, outnumbered them by two to one. The Admiral - it was hard to mistake the row of stars stuck on his ranking strip - was a tall, imposing man with thinning brown hair and shrewd, judging grey eyes. Beside him was an officer, a sub-commander by rank, plus a lieutenant and an assortment of troopers wearing side arms.

Captain Tarn stood to attention as his own small party lined up behind him. "Admiral."
"Captain…Tarn, is it?"
"Yes, sir."

Verel's eyes raked the line behind him, homing in on Adrian's impassive face. "And Stannis?"
Tarn turned and introduced his men. "This is Lieutenant Stannis and…"
The Admiral said, "The Lieutenant will follow my first officer, Sub-Commander Chell."
"I don't understand, sir," Tarn looked uncertainly at the Admiral.

Verel was no longer paying attention to Tarn. His voice was like tempered metal as he addressed Adrian. "I expect my orders to be followed immediately, Lieutenant."
Chell said, "This way."

There was no reaction on Adrian's face as he followed the first officer. He no longer had any expectations, that way nothing could surprise him anymore. Four guards fell into step behind him. Kali was about to go after them but Bryce blocked her with a case.

Tarn said, “Admiral, the Lieutenant has agreed to cooperate, you...”
“Are you presuming to tell me what to do, Tarn?” Before the Admiral, the rest of them were faceless nuisances, without even benefit of rank.
“No, Admiral, I would never presume. It’s just...” Tarn was a prudent man, though less charitable, narrow-minded people might have a different name for him. “Nothing, sir.”
“Good. I was afraid you had something further to add.”
“No, nothing.”
“You’re dismissed.”
“Yes, sir.”

Captain Tarn looked briefly at Kali and then he turned and went back down the docking tunnel. A lonely figure fleeing the scene of battle.
Edited 2009-11-07 10:45 (UTC)

[identity profile] azdak.livejournal.com 2009-11-07 10:58 am (UTC)(link)
This is getting interesting! I thought, at first, that it was following the plot of B7, but it's gone off on its own path. I wonder what the admiral wants Adrian for? Nothing good, evidently.

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
Is this society male-dominated? I wonder because I think Kali's the only female, but I may have missed something.

[identity profile] kalinda001.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
It's not a male-dominated society. There are other women on the ship. I just haven't included any in the story, although I did mention there were other female officers onboard. There will be some in the story once they go over to the other ship.

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, good. I like to see women taking on all sorts of roles, as they even do now. :-)

How come "Bryce"? The other names are very similar to the originals.

[identity profile] kalinda001.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 04:18 am (UTC)(link)
You can blame my brain for that. I was trying to come up with other names for Vila and it kept coming up with silly sounding ones so I settled on Bryce. I have no idea where that came from and my brain is not telling me.

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
It's a bit disconcerting since I know a Bryce, and he's so un-Vila-like.

[identity profile] kalinda001.livejournal.com 2009-11-08 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
Eeeek! No!