Day 23

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Here's today's prompt for you to post your updates and any excerpts and thoughts etc in comments.

Comments

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

368 words today to start off Chapter Four. I'm struggling a bit with this scene, trying to get the balance right between Zack being concerned, and him coming across as too much of a brat. Ah, well, I can always fix that in the edits later.

Extract (Zack is complaining about the lack of messages from Rob):

“I didn't have any from him last night either.” Zack stared at his breakfast as if it was personally responsible for Rob's lack of communication.

“That's not like him.” Zoe sipped her tea. It was sweeter than she liked, as if Zack had originally planned to drink it himself. “You haven't had a falling out, have you?” Now she sounded like their Grandma.

“Of course we haven't.” Zack was indignant. “We never fall out. Rob's my Best Friend. We've been friends forever.”

[kalinda001.livejournal.com]

Good progress.

Love this line:
Zack stared at his breakfast as if it was personally responsible for Rob's lack of communication.

[azdak.livejournal.com]

Zack stared at his breakfast as if it was personally responsible for Rob's lack of communication.

I second the love for this line!

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

:-)

Thanks.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm glad that line worked.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

He doesn't sound bratty in the the extract, but he sounds very young--which he is of course. It sounds like a good start to Chapter 4.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the reassurance. Zack likes to think he's all grown up, but of course he isn't.