Day 23

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Here's today's prompt for you to post your updates and any excerpts and thoughts etc in comments.

Comments

[azdak.livejournal.com]

There's a lengthy action sequence coming up, where my trio of intrepid art thieves actually get down to the business of "stealing" Music 2. It isn't flowing at all, but, following lobelia321's principle that sometimes you have to write crap in order for the good stuff to emerge, I have written 1,500 words of… well, crap . And following my own principle of "when in doubt, get the dialogue to do the work", here is a chunk of exposition (they're discussing how to get hold of a van to transport the painting without leaving an obvious trail):

"I'll hire it, then," said Hardy. "I hardly think a nodding acquaintance with Miss Goldberg will count as evidence that she had asked me to steal an insanely valuable painting on her behalf. Whereas you are known to be a close associate. How close depends, of course, on who is asked," he added, with a meaningful glance at Arthur.

Arthur felt himself turning red. How in hell had Hardy found that out? Trina, he was sure, wouldn't have said a word, certainly not to Hardy, and he was quite sure he hadn't. He risked a sideways peek at Käthe and saw two spots of red kindle above her cheekbones. For a moment, his heart gave a lurch of happiness. If Käthe was jealous… but that was a dangerous game to play.

"We're not that close," he said, hastily.

"I daresay young Holatschek would disagree,"– damn Hardy, why was he persisting in holding this conversation now, of all the inconvenient, inappropriate times to discuss a person's love life? - "I rather fear Holatschek believes you have added to the horrors of miscegenation the prospect of making do with another man's leftovers. In fact, I -"

"Is this relevant?" Käthe snapped. "Fascinating piece of gossip though it is, I can't say I think the issue of exactly how well Arthur knows Trina Goldberg should be occupying the forefront of our minds. If you're willing to hire the van, Georg, then go ahead. I have to say, though, that in that case I think it would be better if you weren't also driving it."

"Oh no," said Hardy, "you're not winkling me out of the game that way. Let you two have all the fun, while I sit at home worrying myself half to death in case someone recognises you, or Rosenthal's moustache falls off at a key moment? Not bloody likely."

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

It's bound to go all wrong, but at least we know the Germans didn't get it.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

The dialogue seems to be expositioning nicely here - lots of plot coming through. (I think I've got more of a handle on Arthur as a reader now that I know he's really quite young - the para. about him reads potentially quite differently if he's 30 than if he's 18).

I don't know whether I envy the write loads of crap, the gold is hidden inside it method or not.

[kalinda001.livejournal.com]

I can see what you mean. The bit could do with a lot of cleaning up but I love the interaction between the characters and the POV asides.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

I like that part with all the twists and turns the conversation takes before getting back on track. You've definitely got something you can work with there.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I'm a firm believer in writing too much and whittling down when things aren't flowing. I won't say it always works but at least you're not staring at an empty page.

I like the way they get so easily distracted during the conversation, it's a good indication that this may not be a foolproof plan...

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

They are a rather clueless bunch of master criminals, aren't they?

I can see why this might not be usable exactly as is, but it's definitely not crap.

[just-ann-now.livejournal.com]

Following my Team Picowrimo pep rally (thanks, guys!) I had a very productive day on Sunday.

- Wrote a drabble (actually a poem, a triolet) and posted it to tolkien_weekly: Gilraen's Lament (http://community.livejournal.com/tolkien_weekly/609329.html)

- Finished the birthday ficlet (500+ words) and sent it off to beta;

- Was additionally inspired during my Sunday morning walk and came home and drafted 123 words of what might be a New Year's Resolution story for Yuletide.

This week's projects will be polishing and posting the birthday thing, poking more at the Swordspoint story, and maybe getting a head start on next week's drabble, since I'll be away part of next weekend.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Oh good stuff! That lament is lovely.

[azdak.livejournal.com]

The lament is fabulous, and the echoes are brilliantly done.

Cor, talk about productive...!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Well done on your productive Sunday! Hope this week's projects go well.

[kalinda001.livejournal.com]

That's wonderfully done!

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Productive indeed, and lots of varity by the sound of it.

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

That triolet is gorgeous -- I'm always in awe of people who can write the strict forms of poetry & make them work.

Will you post a link to the birthday ficlet, or is it private?

[elmey.livejournal.com]

The lament is beautifully done, I'd never heard of a triolet but it's exactly the right structure for what you're doing here.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

That is just beautiful.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

As a change of pace after yesterday's trying to hold and control the angst, I took the b7friday prompt of 'shopping and came up with 740 words of total nonsense, here (http://sallymn.livejournal.com/436641.html)...

[azdak.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha! I think my favourite part is Cally's dealing-with-Blake strategy!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

That's great fun. If I were a galactic freedom fighter I'd definitely welcome a few of life's little luxuries from time to time.

[kalinda001.livejournal.com]

I struggled with this one in the editing phase but in the end I had to close my eyes and dump two of the scenes. They didn't serve much of a purpose to the plot. I liked them but they slowed down the pace too much. Oh well, maybe I'll save them for another point in the story.

Here's the final version of the scene between Adrian and the Admiral.

Adrian and Kali, Part 13 (http://kalinda001.livejournal.com/324873.html)

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Definitely save your scenes just in case! And well done for facing up to dumping them.

That's a very powerful scene.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

368 words today to start off Chapter Four. I'm struggling a bit with this scene, trying to get the balance right between Zack being concerned, and him coming across as too much of a brat. Ah, well, I can always fix that in the edits later.

Extract (Zack is complaining about the lack of messages from Rob):

“I didn't have any from him last night either.” Zack stared at his breakfast as if it was personally responsible for Rob's lack of communication.

“That's not like him.” Zoe sipped her tea. It was sweeter than she liked, as if Zack had originally planned to drink it himself. “You haven't had a falling out, have you?” Now she sounded like their Grandma.

“Of course we haven't.” Zack was indignant. “We never fall out. Rob's my Best Friend. We've been friends forever.”

[kalinda001.livejournal.com]

Good progress.

Love this line:
Zack stared at his breakfast as if it was personally responsible for Rob's lack of communication.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Final pass for editing: 45 new words. Anyway, I have to format it, but otherwise I think it's done and I should post it tomorrow (link will follow!). A hundredish over 6000 words this November, 7300 in total. Considering that I've been intending to write this story for at least two years (by no means a record for me!) I am really, really pleased that I've finally been inspired to work to do it.

*

The crowded hall was stifling, his evening dress and black gown ought to have been unbearable. He noticed none of it. He scarcely heard the music. Experience recognised easily enough that the players were good, and was content to let harmony, order and proportion have their way. Love had other things to feed on; his whole awareness was taken up with the light press of Harriet’s body against his on the familiar and uncomfortable Balliol benches.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Go you! I'm looking forward to reading the whole thing.

[six-old-cars.livejournal.com]

I managed another 226 words of chapter 16 this lunch time. Stumbling progress consisting of lots of staring blankly and the occasional burst of productivity. Still, it is progress :)

Gibbs is just beginning to figure things out:
Nothing had changed when he contemplated the Curse, but thinking about the crash had triggered vivid imagery. Was that some sort of Pavlovian reinforcement? Should he forget the Curse and concentrate on the Ascendent Elysian Pioneer? If the earlier sequence had been making connections, was the Frontiersman ship the missing link? If so, it was the crash that was in retribution for the harm done to one of the tentacled creatures. That would at least mean the intended victims of that retaliation were the ones who had committed the original offense.

But now he was seeing that alien meadow. How did that fit in? He remembered the thunderclap he'd heard earlier, the sense that outsiders were coming. That could mean this landscape was where the Pioneer's crew had collected their tentacled specimen. Gibbs looked around for something like the creature of his nightmares, and recognised one of them herding furballs. He imagined himself closer to it, imagined reaching down, taking hold of it. Suddenly he was in a space suit picking the creature up in gloved hands. He dropped it into a sample box and sealed the lid.

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

Hey, 200+ words is definitely progress. And this is an intriguing bit of Gibbs' thinking.

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

Woo hoo! I wrote just over a thousand words tonight, and all in usable scenes rather than merely noodling. The idea generating exercise I did yesterday really helped.

That makes for a total of 3596 Picowrimo words so far -- and 1551 of those are for Yuletide, meaning I'm already over the strict minimum wordcount.

Of course, those 1500 words don't make a story yet, so I have a long way to go, but I'm feeling much more enthused about it now.

[kalinda001.livejournal.com]

Over a thousand words! Awesome!

[elmey.livejournal.com]

Please excuse this depressing post, but yesterday was horrible, our ten and a half year old dog Eddie died suddenly and completely unexpectedly of something called GDV--which I'd never heard of but which is apparently a known problem for large dogs. But she had a very happy ten years and except for having to take a bath now and then pretty much lived the life she wanted to. I've outlived a number of pets by now, and somehow keep forgetting that it's hard.

In any case I wanted to distract myself but couldn't concentrate on my story so I worked on two reviews I've been meaning to do for a while. One is for an MFU Season 4 episode and doing it is like picking at a scab but it's such a mess of producer/writer/director/actor disfunction that it's perversely fascinating. It's almost done, I just have to clean it up a bit.

The other is of a Jaques Tourneur film called "Berlin Express", released in 1948 and filmed on location in post war Paris, Frankfurt and Berlin and the visuals are unbelievable. It's an oddity since it has segments that are narrated like a documentary, punctuated by the drama starring Robert Ryan, Merle Oberon and other Hollywood types. It's a film with a disjunction between word and image (I sense a theme here) but Tourneur is being subversive on purpose I think. I've made a good start but need to watch the film again for details.

Back to regular story soon.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry. I had a loved cat die suddenly last year, and another this year after a slow decline, so I know how much it hurts to lose a companion like that.

Distraction is a good thing.