ext_422737: uncle hallway (Default)
http://elmey.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] elmey.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] picowrimo2012-07-07 09:49 pm

Day 8 (Team July)

[livejournal.com profile] wiseheart is off carousing (I hope) on a well deserved vacation, and I'll be leaving the prompt posts for the next week.

So here's today's prompt for your updates and any extracts, thoughts, or comments you might have.

[identity profile] six-old-cars.livejournal.com 2012-07-09 12:56 pm (UTC)(link)
The pluperfect feels fine here to me, though I wonder whether “I may hurt you by accident,” John said should also be pluperfect. The use of plu for entry and exit of a flashback in normal past tense... seems to me to need a longer flashback. The nested flashback is OK here as it's only mentioned as a memory. Even if it gets de-nested into a parallel flashback in the reader's head, I don't see a problem with that.

[identity profile] saki101.livejournal.com 2012-07-09 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. I'll add in a couple more hads. :-)