Pico day 24

[el-staplador.livejournal.com]

Here is the post for any comments, snippets or thoughts.

May the magic be with us all!

Comments

[elmey.livejournal.com]

Back on track :) Sort of. Experimenting this morning, trying different things for a scene. The various snippets may not make much sense here (maybe not anywhere) but I'm trying for mood right now rather than plot. I swear they're all going to fit together at some point. For better or worse!


She stopped when she heard me, her hands went quiet over the keys. "The boy is gone," she said. "The man is not at all what I expected."

"Fourteen years," I answered. "What did you expect?"

There was a commotion at the door then, a bang and a hard crash into the wood; I turned from her, but I heard her answer, she always had to have her say. "I expected him to be like you."

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Sherlock would cheer you on for experimenting. And so do I. :)

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Enjoy the experimentation!

[saki101.livejournal.com]

That's a wonderful exchange, with so much history, mislaid dreams and understated emotion in it! And this line is beautiful:"The boy is gone," she said. "The man is not at all what I expected."

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Here's hoping trying different things is a freeing experience! Kudos for trying a new approach.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

That's nice, lovely stiletto-sharp dialogue :)

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Interesting, even if I'm not sure what's going on here.

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you are making progress!

That sounds like a good reflection on growing up.

Choices made

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

So, after having discussed my options with you wonderful people, I chose to close up the Cadfael story with the summary chapter and the epilogue we were talking about.
Today, I tore up the second version of the beginning of said chapter and started a third one. Below are the two paragraphs of the beginning (of the end):

Excerpt:
Cuhelyn never got Prince Owain’s writ to hunt down Bledri ap Rhys – but that wasn’t the fault of either of them. For while he was putting his gear together and Owain was sitting in council with Hywel and his captains, Gwion and the two Benedictine brothers found Bledri dead in the lodging where the Prince’s steward had housed him.

And not merely dead – murdered. Somebody had first felled him, lashing out with a fist in great anger, and then stabbed him while he had been lying there, stunned from his fall.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'm continuing to type up the finished two parts of Terminus, too, and I've just posted Chapter 8 - Data Who (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11209905/8/Terminus) to FF.Net, in case that someone wants to see how the pieces came together. Reviews are welcome, especially encouraging ones. *hint,hint* (What can I say? I have no shame. No, really, I don't.)

RE: Choices made

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you've found a way of bringing the story to a close. That's a very neat synopsis of events.

RE: Choices made

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I like the way you introduce the fact that Bledri is dead.

Hopefully, it was just the opening that needed three goes before it felt right.

RE: Choices made

[elmey.livejournal.com]

An excellent beginning to the chapter, third time's the charm! It makes very good reading.

Re: Choices made

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Kudos on being decisive! The revised excerpt reads extremely smoothly.

RE: Choices made

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Yay!!! Good wishes for you and Cadfael!!

RE: Choices made

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Neatly summarised there.

RE: Choices made

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Good luck with the new version!

That sounds like a good description - very vivid and consise description of the murder!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

About 350 words tonight, which isn't bad after a garden party involving a certain amount of wine. 200 of them are on a new story, which I shall be endeavouring to keep short...

*

Lady Margolotta was not a particularly fashion-conscious vampire. She favoured neither only killing people who deserved it*, nor drowning the streets in the blood of her enemies. She fed, and occasionally killed, as she considered necessary and presided over not so much a rain of terror as sunny intervals with thundery showers.

*According to the average vampire, everyone.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

She does have style. I like her already.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Well done for writing after wine! (I'm almost always too sleepy.)

Yay new story! Yay vampire story with a self-confident, individualistic vampire (and puns)!

[elmey.livejournal.com]

There's always a new story :) This sounds like a very entertaining one.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed at your ability to write after imbibing! Your extract is really well written; I particularly love the pun in the final sentence.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I appear to be dead in the water. So, I went back and did some editing, mainly of dialogue.

The end of the scene where John had remarked on Mycroft kidnapping Red ~

***

Sherlock shook his head, mouth full of cake. He swallowed. “It would appear Red took the initiative.”

John snorted.

Mrs Hudson came in with a mug of tea and handed it to Sherlock. “I warned him the kittens were sneaking out every chance they got.”

“Oh, really,” Sherlock said, taking the tea.

“So where’s the cat now?” John asked.

Sherlock handed his mobile to Mrs. Hudson.

She perched on the edge of the sofa next to John. “What’s he eating?” she asked, holding the phone so John could see the video clip.

“Salmon sashimi,” Sherlock replied, “in Mycroft’s car.”

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I see that Red has someone to watch over him :) There are always days like this. Editing can help to get the brain moving forward again, good luck for tomorrow!

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

One chapter edited and typed up this morning, then half the tasks I'd taken the day off to do took longer than expected and the other half got shelved in favour of writing two press releases. Rupert is trying to write a letter:

Dear David and Natasha, or should that be Dear Lord David and Lady Natasha? Rupert knew what his teachers and Debrett would say, but he still felt a flicker of surprise when anyone addressed him as 'Lord Rupert' and no one he'd met in the Pemberleys seemed to use anything other than Papa's first name, unless they were strangers to the area. He'd leave that as it was for now, and worry about the details once he'd come up with some actual contents for his letter.

I hope my writing to you doesn't come as too great a shock. It might do – since they'd be unaware that he even existed – more so if they thought the Peveril family weren't speaking to them. We've never met, but now I'm hoping to spend more of my school holidays in England, I was hoping we might become acquainted. What if Mama insisted that he go to Argentina for his next holidays? Would Papa challenge her, or would he take her side and not let Rupert come back to the Carsingthorpe estate against Mama's wishes?

I understand that you are involved in sheep farming and the breeding of Fell ponies. I am very newly involved with the sheep on our estate, but I've been riding for more than seven years. His cousins had probably been sat on ponies before they could even walk. Rupert put that envious thought to the back of his mind, and carried on writing.

What's it like living in Westmoreland? My friend Hamish lives in the Scottish Highlands where it always seems to be wet and windy, but here it mostly seems to just drizzle. Do you go to all the agricultural shows? Pa's taking me to one in two weeks' time, but I won't be competing in anything this year. The letter was turning out to be a rather dull sort of account. Rupert put the top back on his pen; he wanted to tell his cousins all about his search for secret rooms in the Lodge that day, but didn't want them to think he was showing off about how many rooms his ancestral home had.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

Kudos for the editing and typing as well as the half of the tasks that got done! (Cup half full and all!)

I suppose it might be best not to make the unknown cousins too curious, lest they wish to explore if they come to visit. Would that be allowed?

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Not a great day. Grabbed a little writing time while our guests were out for a walk but didn't manage to make very much headway. I decided yesterday's late night addition to ch 9 wasn't working so I fiddled with that a bit. Then I forced myself to move on to ch 10, which I think is largely ok, but needs a few changes I'm too frazzled to think about. Here's an excerpt from the new chapter, mainly old with some editing.

When I’d sorted out whether they used ordinary numbers or those funny Kargish ones, the eighteenth house turned out to be right down by the quay. I knocked. No answer. I knocked rather less politely. The same. The shutters were still shut tight so I went round the back. The shallow yards backed straight onto one of those rocky spines that came down from the hills in these parts. A pock like a ball of lard was doing the dishes in her skivvies next door. She didn’t meet my eye. The back shutters were fastened too. I was investigating whether I could pop the catch with my knife when out rolled the neighbour right on cue. She’d pulled on a quilted pink robe done up all the way to the neck and fluffy pink slippers and she had a skillet in one hand. It wasn’t pink and it wasn’t fluffy. With arms like those you could beat a man to death with a skillet, and her expression said she knew it.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I just love the voice you're using, it's got exactly the right tone. The quilted pink robe and the last sentence are perfect :)

[candidlily.livejournal.com]

261 words tonight. Tiny snippet:

Oliver spends an inordinate amount of time going over their conversation while he helps with dinner, occasionally making small talk with Mrs. Weasley. Clearly he was wrong about why Percy invited him. What he doesn’t understand is why it’s bothered Percy so much. Was the thought of even pretending to date Oliver so bad? Did he overstep the line Percy had drawn by even suggesting it?

He’s made himself miserable by the time Mrs. Weasley lets him know he’s been a big help, but now he should go clean up for dinner.

He finally crosses paths with Percy as he gets to their room just as Percy is leaving. “Perce,” he says, stopping him from darting past as he seems about to do. “I’m sorry if what I said bothered you. I was only joking.”

“No, don’t worry about it. Everything’s fine,” Percy says, smiling the fakest smile Oliver has ever seen. “Dinner’s about ready. I’ll see you down there.”

Oliver sighs heavily as Percy pushes past him and down the stairs. It’s gonna be a long night.

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Poor Oliver, that sounds like a very awkward evening.