Some modest success, at last! I've written the short scene leading up to the big finale, and I'm cautiously content with the way it turned out. Now comes the really important part, and I'm already biting my nails about it, honestly.
Excerpt: We, that meant the Prince’s youngest Childer; the new Brood, Embraced after the reforming of the Aurelians and only a year or two in the Dark. Surprisingly enough, most of them were on friendly terms with Michael. Owen was a given, of course, since the two worked together closely on Rage III. But ex-Special-Ops-soldier Riley Finn had also become fast friends with Michael, and even Harmony – the Prince’s fosterling and his secretary at Angel Investigations – was willing to hang out with him occasionally.
Of course, seeing that Harmony still had not given up her dream of becoming a movie star (despite being unable to act and looking as lifeless as a log on film) had to do something with that. Which didn’t change the fact, though, that being seen with the Prince’s own Brood fairly often could elevate the status of a mere ghoul enormously.
* All characters named here — with the exception of Michael — have been borrowed from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They just have a very different fate in the Pathways-verse.
About the last sentence: I'm not certain about the word order. I wanted to say that Michael was seen with the Prince's progeny fairly often — does it come through like that or does it suggest that being seen with them fairly often elevates one's status?
Just another scrap of walk report which I probably won't even post, but I've met the letter of the law. 104 words.
After a flatter place there was much less path to be seen - I did pick it up from time to time, but otherwise it was just a case of picking the best route, and eventually heading up towards a long patch of stones
I'm now reading a library book about English canals. (It *says* it's about British canals, but it isn't. I don't mind this at all, because I've read about all the Scottish ones, but I would prefer it to be honest, or possibly precise!)
The knitting is currently not wrong. I think. It will be soon...
I felt very uninspired today.... so I did a couple of character studies in my description diary.
He has the thin, hatchet-faced look of a minor Victorian villain, all sharp angles, sallow skin and too many teeth in a smile that even a toddler would find suspicious.
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Your character studies are always fantastic: short, poignant and very visual. I wish I could do that, instead of writing descriptions longer than my arm.
Thanks. One of the reasons I do them in the book is to try and hone them and work on the skill at making them shorter and sharper (two of my favourite 'describers' in literature are Wodehouse and Chandler, both of whom can use imagery as masters, so I am inspired by them :)
Good progress! I think the last sentence does come across as you wish (I personally would take out the 'though', but then my grammar isn;t always what it should be :)
Where I think your word order might have got mixed is the sentence before - there's a difference between having something to do with x (connectedness) and having to do something with x (responsibility).
no subject
on 2021-07-10 04:07 pm (UTC)I've written the short scene leading up to the big finale, and I'm cautiously content with the way it turned out. Now comes the really important part, and I'm already biting my nails about it, honestly.
Excerpt:
We, that meant the Prince’s youngest Childer; the new Brood, Embraced after the reforming of the Aurelians and only a year or two in the Dark. Surprisingly enough, most of them were on friendly terms with Michael. Owen was a given, of course, since the two worked together closely on Rage III. But ex-Special-Ops-soldier Riley Finn had also become fast friends with Michael, and even Harmony – the Prince’s fosterling and his secretary at Angel Investigations – was willing to hang out with him occasionally.
Of course, seeing that Harmony still had not given up her dream of becoming a movie star (despite being unable to act and looking as lifeless as a log on film) had to do something with that. Which didn’t change the fact, though, that being seen with the Prince’s own Brood fairly often could elevate the status of a mere ghoul enormously.
* All characters named here — with the exception of Michael — have been borrowed from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They just have a very different fate in the Pathways-verse.
About the last sentence: I'm not certain about the word order. I wanted to say that Michael was seen with the Prince's progeny fairly often — does it come through like that or does it suggest that being seen with them fairly often elevates one's status?
no subject
on 2021-07-10 10:36 pm (UTC)After a flatter place there was much less path to be seen - I did pick it up from time to time, but otherwise it was just a case of picking the best route, and eventually heading up towards a long patch of stones
I'm now reading a library book about English canals. (It *says* it's about British canals, but it isn't. I don't mind this at all, because I've read about all the Scottish ones, but I would prefer it to be honest, or possibly precise!)
The knitting is currently not wrong. I think. It will be soon...
no subject
on 2021-07-10 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 12:33 am (UTC)Learn more about LiveJournal Ratings in FAQ (https://www.dreamwidth.org/support/faqbrowse?faqid=303).
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on 2021-07-11 04:17 am (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 04:21 am (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 02:58 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 03:01 pm (UTC)Good luck with the knitting!
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on 2021-07-11 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2021-07-11 10:07 pm (UTC)Intriguing, though!
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on 2021-07-12 05:18 pm (UTC)