July 2021, Day 10

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Here is the place to tell us about your daily success (or the lack of it)!
May the magic be with us all!

Comments

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Some modest success, at last!
I've written the short scene leading up to the big finale, and I'm cautiously content with the way it turned out. Now comes the really important part, and I'm already biting my nails about it, honestly.

Excerpt:
We, that meant the Prince’s youngest Childer; the new Brood, Embraced after the reforming of the Aurelians and only a year or two in the Dark. Surprisingly enough, most of them were on friendly terms with Michael. Owen was a given, of course, since the two worked together closely on Rage III. But ex-Special-Ops-soldier Riley Finn had also become fast friends with Michael, and even Harmony – the Prince’s fosterling and his secretary at Angel Investigations – was willing to hang out with him occasionally.

Of course, seeing that Harmony still had not given up her dream of becoming a movie star (despite being unable to act and looking as lifeless as a log on film) had to do something with that. Which didn’t change the fact, though, that being seen with the Prince’s own Brood fairly often could elevate the status of a mere ghoul enormously.

* All characters named here — with the exception of Michael — have been borrowed from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They just have a very different fate in the Pathways-verse.

About the last sentence: I'm not certain about the word order. I wanted to say that Michael was seen with the Prince's progeny fairly often — does it come through like that or does it suggest that being seen with them fairly often elevates one's status?

[candidlily.livejournal.com]

Congrats on the success! As for the word order, I think it suggests both, if I'm understanding your meaning. Good luck with the finale!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I wanted it to suggest the first thing. Any ideas how I should alter the sentence so that it would do so?

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Good progress! I think the last sentence does come across as you wish (I personally would take out the 'though', but then my grammar isn;t always what it should be :)

[ylla.livejournal.com]

Where I think your word order might have got mixed is the sentence before - there's a difference between having something to do with x (connectedness) and having to do something with x (responsibility).

Intriguing, though!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Now I'm thoroughly confused; but again, English has been confusing me for the last 26 years or so.