There's a lengthy action sequence coming up, where my trio of intrepid art thieves actually get down to the business of "stealing" Music 2. It isn't flowing at all, but, following lobelia321's principle that sometimes you have to write crap in order for the good stuff to emerge, I have written 1,500 words of… well, crap . And following my own principle of "when in doubt, get the dialogue to do the work", here is a chunk of exposition (they're discussing how to get hold of a van to transport the painting without leaving an obvious trail):
"I'll hire it, then," said Hardy. "I hardly think a nodding acquaintance with Miss Goldberg will count as evidence that she had asked me to steal an insanely valuable painting on her behalf. Whereas you are known to be a close associate. How close depends, of course, on who is asked," he added, with a meaningful glance at Arthur.
Arthur felt himself turning red. How in hell had Hardy found that out? Trina, he was sure, wouldn't have said a word, certainly not to Hardy, and he was quite sure he hadn't. He risked a sideways peek at Käthe and saw two spots of red kindle above her cheekbones. For a moment, his heart gave a lurch of happiness. If Käthe was jealous… but that was a dangerous game to play.
"We're not that close," he said, hastily.
"I daresay young Holatschek would disagree,"– damn Hardy, why was he persisting in holding this conversation now, of all the inconvenient, inappropriate times to discuss a person's love life? - "I rather fear Holatschek believes you have added to the horrors of miscegenation the prospect of making do with another man's leftovers. In fact, I -"
"Is this relevant?" Käthe snapped. "Fascinating piece of gossip though it is, I can't say I think the issue of exactly how well Arthur knows Trina Goldberg should be occupying the forefront of our minds. If you're willing to hire the van, Georg, then go ahead. I have to say, though, that in that case I think it would be better if you weren't also driving it."
"Oh no," said Hardy, "you're not winkling me out of the game that way. Let you two have all the fun, while I sit at home worrying myself half to death in case someone recognises you, or Rosenthal's moustache falls off at a key moment? Not bloody likely."
The dialogue seems to be expositioning nicely here - lots of plot coming through. (I think I've got more of a handle on Arthur as a reader now that I know he's really quite young - the para. about him reads potentially quite differently if he's 30 than if he's 18).
I don't know whether I envy the write loads of crap, the gold is hidden inside it method or not.
I'd rather write pure gold from the word go (who wouldn't...) but at least a pile of crap gives me something to work with. And sometimes it really does lead to Inspiration striking.
As a scene, I loved all of it. But there are bits in it, filler words that you don't normally have in your final versions, which slow this one down and make it seem rambly.
I like that part with all the twists and turns the conversation takes before getting back on track. You've definitely got something you can work with there.
Thank you! And Kathe and Hardy seem to be developing a relationship of sorts, even if it's rather antagonistic, which is all to the good. And any writing is better than no writing.
I'm a firm believer in writing too much and whittling down when things aren't flowing. I won't say it always works but at least you're not staring at an empty page.
I like the way they get so easily distracted during the conversation, it's a good indication that this may not be a foolproof plan...
I like the way they get so easily distracted during the conversation
That's my fault rather than theirs ;-) I'm a firm believer that a conversation should always be about something other than the ostensible topic. Especially when the topic is something as dull as exposition!
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There's a lengthy action sequence coming up, where my trio of intrepid art thieves actually get down to the business of "stealing" Music 2. It isn't flowing at all, but, following
"I'll hire it, then," said Hardy. "I hardly think a nodding acquaintance with Miss Goldberg will count as evidence that she had asked me to steal an insanely valuable painting on her behalf. Whereas you are known to be a close associate. How close depends, of course, on who is asked," he added, with a meaningful glance at Arthur.
Arthur felt himself turning red. How in hell had Hardy found that out? Trina, he was sure, wouldn't have said a word, certainly not to Hardy, and he was quite sure he hadn't. He risked a sideways peek at Käthe and saw two spots of red kindle above her cheekbones. For a moment, his heart gave a lurch of happiness. If Käthe was jealous… but that was a dangerous game to play.
"We're not that close," he said, hastily.
"I daresay young Holatschek would disagree,"– damn Hardy, why was he persisting in holding this conversation now, of all the inconvenient, inappropriate times to discuss a person's love life? - "I rather fear Holatschek believes you have added to the horrors of miscegenation the prospect of making do with another man's leftovers. In fact, I -"
"Is this relevant?" Käthe snapped. "Fascinating piece of gossip though it is, I can't say I think the issue of exactly how well Arthur knows Trina Goldberg should be occupying the forefront of our minds. If you're willing to hire the van, Georg, then go ahead. I have to say, though, that in that case I think it would be better if you weren't also driving it."
"Oh no," said Hardy, "you're not winkling me out of the game that way. Let you two have all the fun, while I sit at home worrying myself half to death in case someone recognises you, or Rosenthal's moustache falls off at a key moment? Not bloody likely."
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I don't know whether I envy the write loads of crap, the gold is hidden inside it method or not.
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I'd rather write pure gold from the word go (who wouldn't...) but at least a pile of crap gives me something to work with. And sometimes it really does lead to Inspiration striking.
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I like the way they get so easily distracted during the conversation, it's a good indication that this may not be a foolproof plan...
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That's my fault rather than theirs ;-) I'm a firm believer that a conversation should always be about something other than the ostensible topic. Especially when the topic is something as dull as exposition!
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I can see why this might not be usable exactly as is, but it's definitely not crap.
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Everyone's got to start somewhere, but they're starting from a really low baseline...