Day 7 (Team July)

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Here is the post to update with any extracts, thoughts, or comments you might have for today.

I'm saying good-bye for a week, leaving you in the most capable hands of elmey until Day 15. Happy writing!

Comments

[saki101.livejournal.com]

The earlier scenes are going slowly. Research and about 400 words yesterday.

***

“You haven't been in much. How’s your experiment going?” Mrs Hudson asked from her doorway as John wiped his feet on the mat and slipped off his wet jacket in the hall.

John glanced up, caught the wistfulness in her expression before she saw him looking and smiled. “Good, good,” he replied, moving towards the staircase, pausing at the bottom. “Thank you for letting me have a sample.” He stepped around the bottom stair, arm outstretched. “Let me see,” he said. “The puncture isn’t red or itchy or anything, is it?”

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you are making good progress! :)

Sounds like John is developing a theory :)

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Interesting progress there.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

He's looking at everyone's blood! I'm really curious how this all fits together.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Heh. This rings very true :)

[steph2311.livejournal.com]

RL has hit me with a freight train this week as my RL besties mum died. Naturally have managed no progress with any of my projects so far, but I'm hoping to update later tonight with some progress in my POI bigbang fic

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Poor you! I hope things start to get better for you soon!

[saki101.livejournal.com]

RL support surely takes time. Good luck with getting back to your projects as soon as you are able.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Much sympathy. RL does sometimes catch one out like that.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

Being there for your friend is important. But when you have a chance to start writing, we'd love to see an update--and snippets :)

[kerravonsen]

Did more work on my craft piece (while listening to the Librivox version of Much Ado About Nothing). The craft piece is now at a point where I have to decide whether or not to embellish it or leave it as it is. So I'll sleep on it.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

So it is either done or nearly so; exellent progress!

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you are making great progress! :)

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Great stuff. Decisions are always clearer after sleep.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I certainly believe in sleeping on decisions too :)

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Heirs and Graces

Phase 3 -- July's writing:



Busy day today. I tweaked a short story and resubmitted it, although it may need further tweaks yet, and then I wrote 700 words of Edward and Julia:

She paused until the waitress had served their tea and cakes, before continuing. "It's been six months now, and I'm still not pregnant. What if I left it too late? What if there's something wrong with one of us?"

Nothing wrong with Hugh in that department, Edward thought.

"Hugh says it's all my fault. He says I'm the defective one." She sighed. "If it wasn't for the title, I'd suggest we adopt a baby. I'm sure I could love another woman's baby just as much as my own."

"These things sometimes take a while." Edward reached over and took her hands. "Maybe if you stop worrying, nature will take her course in good time." He'd had an inkling that this situation was developing into a much bigger problem. Elaine had said as much when he'd phoned her a week or so ago, but then she'd also said that babies were far more likely to happen for couples who didn't make each other unhappy so much of the time.

"I can't wait forever. I'll be forty before you know it."

I've also been wondering about writing a couple of little pieces about Edward and Julia during the war, and pondering exactly which regiment(s) Hugh and Edward served in.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

If Hugh and Julia do succeed in having a son, wouldn't he supplant Rupert in the scheme of things? Do I have the relationships right?

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Good progress!
Interesting conversation - Edward seems to be concealing an awful lot from Julia (as well as everyone else...)

[elmey.livejournal.com]

This doesn't sound like a marriage with a real future--how old is Julia at this point?

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Oh that's awkward. Though given his track record, it's pretty incredible that Julia reckons Edward can sort it. Testament to how good a b.s'er he really is.

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

~600 words and a completed first draft of the 2nd npt pinch hit (secret story)
~2100 words on the Firiel story

A conversation about Firiel's role, Firiel and Arvedui (again)
She paused, wondering how to ask her question and bit her lip slightly, but plunged on, "So what will be expected of me?"
"Well, as my mother is dead you will be lady here. For now you are too inexperienced to be regent - however, I will have to teach you as much as I can quickly, for it will be better when you can because then I will not need to spare someone else to do so. You will responsible for the household here, including overseeing supplies to the city, of food and all other good, overseeing the kitchens and everything else."
"Regent?" she echoed shakely. "I could not. I have not been trained to rule."
"Surely you know what is necessary in general?"
"No, I know a little of some things that my brother told me, but not much."
He stared at her. "Who would be regent if your father and brothers went off to fight?"
"According to the law of Gondor they should not all go - one undisputed heir must remain behind and they would be expected to rule, if they were of age. If not, the Steward would be left with the authority."
"But according to the laws of Numenore you could have been a ruling queen if anything happened to your brothers."
Firiel looked at her hands for a moment. "Look, I am sorry, but I have not been trained to rule."
He sat down opposite her and took her hands. "Are you prepared to learn?"
"Yes."
He squeezed her hands gently. "Good. That is the best that we can hope for from here."

[elmey.livejournal.com]

That's certainly a very different responsibility from taking care of the household! Firiel will have to be very strong.

You're really motoring in terms of getting things done though.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I've pretty much written off Saturdays in terms of getting writing done. Chores, they keep coming back! and it's really hot today too. And my arm hurts, but that's my own fault and I'm just whining ; ) I expect to get back on track tomorrow.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I have no doubt that you are thinking about things in the back of your mind even in the midst of chores.

Why does your arm hurt?

[six-old-cars.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, no update for most of the week! Partly that's because I wasn't managing any writing, but largely because it's been raining and therefore my phone line hasn't been working.
Anyway, in respect of the not writing, today was a Cambridge NaNo group write-in so I went along to that and the muse returned unto me. I clocked up 1700 words at the write-in plus several more this evening, bringing my total for July so far to

Ah, but which bit to snippet.... How about the bit I'm not really sure on the flow of (plus surrounding context):

"Today's third traitor," deSalle said, "is surely the youngest yet." The bundle of rags that stumbled on contained a girl, her blonde hair tangled and matted, her features gaunt and yet her expression defiant. She looked at the camera.
"Oh god!" Catherine whimpered. "Anna!" There was no mistaking her even in that state, even with the malnutrition and the bruises.
Catherine's gut churned. She thought she would throw up. She wanted to run but was frozen to the spot. She couldn't even look away as she desperately wished for a miracle, for some intervention to save her friend.
The soldiers pushed the three victims together on the stage. They stepped back, drew their guns. 'Please god, now,' Catherine thought, ' stop them now.'
Three loud retorts. Three wet thuds. Three bodies in pools of blood.
Catherine ran. She wasn't sure how she'd got out of the room, let alone the house. She knew only running and the urge to scream, bottled up for fear of being heard. She ran out past the rail cutting. She ran past the factories. She ran deep into the woods. Finally she let out her scream.
"Bastards!" she yelled. "Evil, sadistic bastards!" She collapsed to her knees. "Why?" she cried. "Why her?" She slumped to the ground, pounding her fist in the mud.
She sobbed until she could sob no more, curled up under a bush. "You'll pay for this," she croaked. "You will." She had no idea how she meant to follow through on that promise, but it gave her strength just to make it. She sat up. "Death to all Arcturans!" she muttered, then looked around. She was definitely alone. "Death to all Arcturans!" she shouted.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

I don't know about the context, but the flow of this is fine; tense and dramatic.

[steph2311.livejournal.com]

Here goes..... my first snippet to this comm..... so embarassed. BE GENTLE.

The young boys toes scrunched. His feet felt the damp of the woodland beneath, the earth that his father had taught him to love. Mikael's undernourished fingernails gripped as hard as they could into the bark of the towering pine. He heard his father's booming, once reassuring, voice still echo in his ears.
"RUN!"

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Welcome! I am intrigued by this snippet. I am guessing Mikael's father is no longer here and that a dreadful catastrophe has taken place.

Gone till November

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Wishing wiseheart a good week off and plenty of relaxation. You've done sterling work keeping going for a month and a half. And welcome to elmey!

Now that having been said - my contributions to Pico are likely to tail off a little because I HAVE COMPLETED THE SECOND DRAFT! Did a sprint today and wrote several scenes and thousands of words. I am absolutely exhausted :)

And now for the last extract. Rewind back to 1914. Eva's teacher Shandlin (the guy with the mother) has opinions on Yeats as a poet.



Don't Hold Back, Tell Us How You Really Feel

And of course Mina wanted everything clearly explained and solemnly repeated Eva's every word until it was all Eva could do not to tell her to go away. And then she went away and Eva folded open the dratted thing, just to get it over with -

"Aha, Miss Downey! Loitering in the corridor, I see. This place charges good money to eradicate habits like that, surely?"

Oh go away you too, Mr Shandlin!

"I'm reading a book," Eva said abruptly, just about remembering to add, "sir." Oh she wished he would stop hovering around like a vulture.

"Well I can see that. What is it?"

"Yeats." Eva said. It was the first writer who came into her head. Hopefully that would shut him up.

"Yeats!" he exclaimed. "Oh dear. I really expected better of you. Do you not find him uncommonly irritating? Nothing but self-indulgent, jejune fantasies of kings and roses and unrequited love. I'm fed up of unrequited love: it's boring. It's like reading Swinburne after drinking cheap wine and getting a ferocious headache from the two together. He's nearly fifty and he's still drivelling on with that nonsense. And what's with the 'odorous twilight'? For God's sake if his twilight is beginning to stink that badly, he should open a window, no? Tread softly, my foot. I wish he'd tread on a banana skin."

Mr Shandlin stopped abruptly, perhaps surprised at his own vehemence. Eva could not resist a smile, which made him look slightly sulky.

[...]

Then - oh thank God! - he moved off down the corridor, almost tripping up on a holdall bag badly propped up against the wall. With an exclamation of annoyance, he started to kick it about.

"Why - must - there - be - stuff - everywhere?" he lamented, the bag skidding down the corridor in advance of his foot.

"I think that's Phyllida Smithson's games uniform." Eva called after him.

He turned his head one last time. "It's stuff and it's in my way."

With that parting shot, he disappeared behind the double doors.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

\o/ Well Done!! \o/ Congratulations!! I feel like a proud Aunt having watched you sweat over this for over a year now :)
I wish we could have a real party for you.

I like Shandlin on Yeats and unrequited love--protesting a bit too much, isn't he ;) And poor clueless Eva! It's nice to have this glimpse of them starting out.

Are you going to take a bit of time off before you start the next draft?