Pico day 10

[el-staplador.livejournal.com]

Here is the post for any comments, snippets or thoughts.

May the magic be with us all!

Comments

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

I've fallen off the Picowagon a bit, mainly because I've just been reading Chandler and not getting any actual writing done. I have thought a little about my protagonist's backstory, and pondered to what extent I ought to follow a beta's advice to give him a bit more agency, without much outcome. (Or any useful thoughts on how I might give him more agency if that's needed...)

I think I'm going to take someone's advice and start on an easier section, as all the demands on this bridging section seem to be getting me down. A teaser of the recalcitrant bit, a mix of new, edited & original; this follows from ch 5 (http://archiveofourown.org/works/276049/chapters/700124) and goes immediately before the snatch of dialogue I posted earlier...

Now the baby princess had got her big secret off her flat chest she was happy to be bundled into a cab headed straight up to the palace. As the kid seemed to have taken such a shine to the lieutenant woman, I figured the two of them could use some quality time together. I took the chance to pinch the broad’s sergeant. Turned out it was my old pal Hornbeam. The pair of us went way back. Back when he was the short guy to my tall guy, and Hali was the straight guy to Groundsel’s—

Hornbeam was the only one who’d stuck it out in CHOP. He hadn’t changed much. He was still as short as a prima donna’s temper. He’d never grow any taller now. None of us would.

Not written with Picopower, as I finished it on 31 May, but someone here might conceivably be interested in my Sutcliff Swap story: The Boy with Wolf's Eyes (http://archiveofourown.org/works/4044559) (The Mark of the Horse Lord). It's a vignette that started out edging into horror but my beta persuaded me to unpack the ending so it slides into something rather more comfortable. Interested in what people think!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

You know, there's something very wrong with a guy named Hornbeam- ;)

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to wonder why he was called Hornbeam, given the only thing I know about him is he's short. Maybe it was a joke.

[elmey.livejournal.com]

You really have the voice down. And it works for the story. I agree with working on scenes that excite you, especially when you're trying to get back into this piece. I've noticed that in the end, I often need a lot less detailed bridging than I thought.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm relieved the voice sounds to be working.

The bridging passage is a pain because it's been loaded with developing one OC, introducing another who appears later, fixing two or three plot points, and doing some location description. No wonder it's sinking under the strain & taking me with it!

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

Bridging is a killer. I agree with elmey that sometimes it needs less than you think and that if you just thing "sod it" and move to a new section, a less painful solution may emerge.

I've never read any Chandler, but this certainly has the vibe I'd expect through cultural osmosis. I love "short as a prima donna's temper".

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I stupidly loaded this scene with bucketloads of fixes from later bits and now just can't get my head around it. I'm going to try working somewhere else.

Chandler is surprisingly good, if you can handle a fair degree of misogyny/racism. It has a sly humour that I've not found in other hardboiled writing. It's been interesting comparing it with the British Golden Age it was a reaction against.

[saki101.livejournal.com]

I don't know the book, but I loved the mythic tone of the language in TBwWE. I thought the ending seemed harsh, but hopeful. I thought the youth who was "fair of face and bright of hair" was the one that Gault had been seeing over his shoulder in reflective surfaces and that Gault had thought was his true self.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading it blind! I won't spoil the novel for you any further but the piece of information from the source that's key is that the entire story is about two unrelated men who are doubles. I'm hinting that the youth ascending at the end might be the sun god (Lugh) as well as the being that Gault thinks of as his true self.

[stevie-carroll.livejournal.com]

Great narrative voice in that snippet.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's tiring trying to channel Chandler all the time but the results can be quite fun.

[jenn-calaelen.livejournal.com]

Great snippet.

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Reading Chandler needs no excuse - I like to soak in his imagery :)

[espresso-addict.livejournal.com]

He is so good :)